Am I missing someone I love, or loving someone I miss?
Do you know that word that is mostly used in love letters are not 'love,' but 'miss,'? It's like missing someone is the manifestation of the love you have towards them.
Because I found that when you love someone, you just want every part of himself to be near.
And even if he's miles away, you just want every part of himself to be near.
And even if it's not possible -or even if it's possible, it's not as easy as you think, you just want every part of himself to be near!
It's the tragedy of loving; you can't love anyone more than someone you miss.
- Jonathan Safran Foer
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
That Old Feeling
Kali terakhir saya pulang ke Jakarta awal Mei yang lalu, saya ketemuan sama teman-teman SD. Rasanya udah lama banget engga pernah ketemu lagi sama mereka. Has been like, 10 years? Nah, pas ketemu, semua orang udah keliatan beda. Ada yang mukanya berubah, rambutnya berubah, tingginya berubah, gayanya berubah, badannya berubah, macam-macam perubahan pokoknya. Ya, change is the only constant in life, right? Tapi satu hal yang saya agak heran, waktu ketemu mereka I felt like home. Maksudnya, sekalipun udah 10 tahun engga pernah ketemu lagi, kita kayak engga ada canggung-canggungnya. Malahan rasanya kayak mereka adalah teman-teman yang udah sehari-hari bersama saya.
Kemudian baru saya sadar, alasan kenapa saya engga ngerasa asing sama mereka sekalipun udah 10 tahun engga ketemu. Alasan kenapa waktu berada di tengah-tengah mereka, saya ngerasa nyaman. Alasan kenapa saya bahkan merasa diingatkan lagi, artinya persahabatan.
Karena persahabatan yang kita mulai lebih dari 10 tahun yang lalu itu, kita mulai waktu kita masih putih polos. Waktu kita jadi teman tanpa adanya alasan apapun; bukan latar belakang, bukan kesamaan pikiran, bukan untung rugi. Waktu kita belum dipusingkan dengan berbagai kesibukan, kompleksitas pemikiran, dan berbagai pertimbangan. Waktu kita belum terkontaminasi sama pikiran-pikiran negatif, pengalaman-pengalaman menyakitkan, dan berbagai keahlian manipulasi yang diajarkan sama dunia ini sebagai pertahanan diri. Waktu yang ada dalam pikiran kita hanya bahwa punya teman itu, bisa menemani main. Dan bahwa sendirian itu engga enak. It's just simply because of our tendency to be attached to the others; hardly with any additional reasons. Dan ini sebabnya; karena pengalaman persahabatan yang saya punya sama mereka dulu adalah pengalaman yang murni. Dan bukankah itu yang kita cari?
Salah satu teman saya ada yang bilang, let's be childish. Well, saya engga setuju sama sekali sama pemikiran itu. People do change, and change is the evidence that we are growing, that we are getting more mature. Mungkin lebih tepat, kalau saya bilang, let's NOT be childish in our way of thinking; but let's be like a child again in our heart. Waktu motif kita masih murni, waktu alasan dari persahabatan kita adalah persahabatan itu sendiri.
Other things may change us; but we start and end with family.
- Anthony Brandt
Kemudian baru saya sadar, alasan kenapa saya engga ngerasa asing sama mereka sekalipun udah 10 tahun engga ketemu. Alasan kenapa waktu berada di tengah-tengah mereka, saya ngerasa nyaman. Alasan kenapa saya bahkan merasa diingatkan lagi, artinya persahabatan.
Karena persahabatan yang kita mulai lebih dari 10 tahun yang lalu itu, kita mulai waktu kita masih putih polos. Waktu kita jadi teman tanpa adanya alasan apapun; bukan latar belakang, bukan kesamaan pikiran, bukan untung rugi. Waktu kita belum dipusingkan dengan berbagai kesibukan, kompleksitas pemikiran, dan berbagai pertimbangan. Waktu kita belum terkontaminasi sama pikiran-pikiran negatif, pengalaman-pengalaman menyakitkan, dan berbagai keahlian manipulasi yang diajarkan sama dunia ini sebagai pertahanan diri. Waktu yang ada dalam pikiran kita hanya bahwa punya teman itu, bisa menemani main. Dan bahwa sendirian itu engga enak. It's just simply because of our tendency to be attached to the others; hardly with any additional reasons. Dan ini sebabnya; karena pengalaman persahabatan yang saya punya sama mereka dulu adalah pengalaman yang murni. Dan bukankah itu yang kita cari?
Salah satu teman saya ada yang bilang, let's be childish. Well, saya engga setuju sama sekali sama pemikiran itu. People do change, and change is the evidence that we are growing, that we are getting more mature. Mungkin lebih tepat, kalau saya bilang, let's NOT be childish in our way of thinking; but let's be like a child again in our heart. Waktu motif kita masih murni, waktu alasan dari persahabatan kita adalah persahabatan itu sendiri.
Other things may change us; but we start and end with family.
- Anthony Brandt
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Lucu-lucuan
Jarang-jarang nih nge-post yang lucu-lucu. Dan mungkin ini akan jadi yang pertama dan yang terakhir kalinya. Can't help it soalnya, karena saya benar-benar merasa ini kali pertamanya saya bisa berpikir selogis atau seanalitikal ini dan hasilnya selucu ini.
Jadi ceritanya, beberapa hari yang lalu saya digigit serangga. Bentol dan sakit, langsung saja saya injak serangganya sampai mati. Bentolnya masih belum hilang sampai sekarang. Masih gatel-gatel sakit. Padahal si serangga udah saya bikin mati dari beberapa hari yang lalu. Terus, salah satu teman saya bilang, "Elo harusnya gigit balik dong serangganya. Biar dia ngerasain bentol juga."
Tiba-tiba saya kepikiran. Iya, ya, curang banget, engga adil. Saya bisa mati, tapi serangga engga bisa bentol.
- logis dan analitikal tapi lucu engga?
Jadi ceritanya, beberapa hari yang lalu saya digigit serangga. Bentol dan sakit, langsung saja saya injak serangganya sampai mati. Bentolnya masih belum hilang sampai sekarang. Masih gatel-gatel sakit. Padahal si serangga udah saya bikin mati dari beberapa hari yang lalu. Terus, salah satu teman saya bilang, "Elo harusnya gigit balik dong serangganya. Biar dia ngerasain bentol juga."
Tiba-tiba saya kepikiran. Iya, ya, curang banget, engga adil. Saya bisa mati, tapi serangga engga bisa bentol.
- logis dan analitikal tapi lucu engga?
Proof of Your Dreams
It was only yesterday that my results on last semester's exams out. Not much different from any other semesters though, except that now my status is already a graduate, and unlike any other semester, now I don't need to calculate what scores I should get next semester in order to maintain or achieve certain CGPA anymore.
Happy? Yes and no. The fact is that I realize, setting goals to get certain scores is far easier than choosing which path to go for the next phase of your life. And between where I'm standing right now with my dream and desire lie a long road, deep valleys, and wide oceans.
But still I need to move on. I need to do just whatever I can do to move closer to my destiny, no matter how insignificant it is. Because the proof of your dreams is your pursue. Wanting something without pursuing it is only daydreaming. And this is not what I am doing. I do not want to only daydream; I want to have it. And that's why I need to do something about it; I need to work on my dreams.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
Happy? Yes and no. The fact is that I realize, setting goals to get certain scores is far easier than choosing which path to go for the next phase of your life. And between where I'm standing right now with my dream and desire lie a long road, deep valleys, and wide oceans.
But still I need to move on. I need to do just whatever I can do to move closer to my destiny, no matter how insignificant it is. Because the proof of your dreams is your pursue. Wanting something without pursuing it is only daydreaming. And this is not what I am doing. I do not want to only daydream; I want to have it. And that's why I need to do something about it; I need to work on my dreams.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
Friday, May 22, 2009
Worthwhile Silence
Pernah engga, sih merasa sendirian. Atau, sekalipun banyak orang di sekitar kita, kita tetap merasa sendiri. Pernah engga merasa bosan, capek, kecewa, sedih. Dan sekalipun kita pengen ada seseorang yang peduli sama kita, kita pun seperti engga bisa cerita dan membuat dia mengerti sedalam-dalamnya apa yang sedang kita rasakan.
Dan, kalo lagi kayak gitu, engga butuh yang namanya dihibur, dikasih saran, atau solusi. Cuma pengen ada seseorang yang mau stay around dan bilang -seperti lagunya the Pretenders, "I'll stand by you." Dan kita akan terkesan sama betapa kehadiran seseorang bisa begitu berharga, sekalipun tanpa kata-kata.
Oh, why you look so sad
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and talk to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess can make me love you less
So, if you're mad, get mad
Dont hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Baby, take me in into you're darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
Dan, kalo lagi kayak gitu, engga butuh yang namanya dihibur, dikasih saran, atau solusi. Cuma pengen ada seseorang yang mau stay around dan bilang -seperti lagunya the Pretenders, "I'll stand by you." Dan kita akan terkesan sama betapa kehadiran seseorang bisa begitu berharga, sekalipun tanpa kata-kata.
Oh, why you look so sad
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and talk to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess can make me love you less
So, if you're mad, get mad
Dont hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Baby, take me in into you're darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
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